Yesterday was my one year anniversary of starting at my current job, which happened about a week after I moved back to Upstate New York from Alexandria, VA after losing my previous job down there. So I figure now is as good of a time as any to assess what’s happened to me in the last year- the good, the bad and the going half-mad.
The Good Obviously I’m sober and I’m on medication and in treatment to deal with my depression and my anxiety. That’s good. No question. I’ve lost some weight, and am probably in as good of shape physically as I have been in five years or so. Also, clearly and obviously good. I’m close to my family- I get to go to my nephew’s soccer games, we cookout together, I’m spending more time with my older sister and brother and their families. I have an awesome circle of friends here that I see regularly- we go to each others houses for game nights, we did a drawing class, and almost every week we go to a trivia night. I have Skaneateles Lake at my fingertips for boating, kayaking, swimming and fishing. I have a good job where I’m productively contributing to the company.
The Bad I’m not proud of what happened that caused me to leave Alexandria. It still feels like a personal failure. I had a fantastic opportunity and I messed it up. It still hurts to think about it. In doing so I hurt several people who had helped me personally and professionally. I let a lot of people down, but maybe nobody more than myself.
The going-half mad I had emergency surgery to remove my appendix! What’s up with that!? I got a cat and he’s awesome (though right now he’s having some medical issues of his own- he’s currently at the vet for surgery to remove a benign cyst from his neck that became infected). I miss him.
So where do I want to be a year from now?
- Sober
- Living on my own
- In good health
- Still working productively
- Still surrounded by friends and family
Anything else is a bonus.
Paul's letters... 