The Airing of Grievances

I want to keep this blog as positive as I can, but today is December 23rd, Festivus, and I’m airing 23 grievances.  You’ve been warned…

1. People who come to Skaneateles for Dickens Christmas and park in the Tops lot. Some of us actually need to pick up groceries
2. People who will park an entry level luxury vehicle across two parking spots. So not only are you an asshole, you’re also a poseur.
3. People who will stand in line at Chipotle only to still be undecided when it’s their turn to order.
4. People who check their phones in movie theaters during the show.
5. People at any kind of kids sports, musical, theater, etc. event and film it on their phones instead of just watching and enjoying their kid in the moment.
6. Unfriendly dogs. You’re a dog, you have one job in life. Be friendly, dogs!
7. People who say “Oh, he’s friendly” when their dog jumps on you. That’s not friendly. Just because a dog doesn’t bite you doesn’t mean he’s friendly, it means he isn’t well behaved. If a stranger ran up to you and wrapped you in a bear hug instead of saying hello and shaking your hand you wouldn’t call them friendly. A friendly dog walks up to you, tail wagging and sniffs your hand.
8. People who don’t know what they’re doing at airport security. Seriously? It’s been more than a decade since 9/11, take the laptop out, shoes off and move through the line in an orderly and efficient manner.
9. People who wear pajamas on planes. I’m not saying everyone should be in a suit, but show some respect for yourself, you’re still out in public. You don’t have to be a slob to be comfortable.
10. People who stand on the left side of an escalator. Stand on the right, walk on the left. It’s not that difficult.
11. People who say “mute point.”
12. Sportscasters who don’t bother to learn the proper way to pronounce a player’s name.
13. People who give their kids dumb, made-up names. Let your kid be original on their own merits and talents (and remember, if they become a famous athlete the sportscasters are definitely going to screw it up).
14. NBC’s David Gregory. Fortunately they got my letters at “Meet the Press” and replaced him.
15. People who disregard “No Wake” buoys in their boats.
16. The “Under God” part of the Pledge of Allegiance.
17. The complete lack of agreement in society over who should get tipped and how much. At this point let’s all just settle on something, anything. Do you tip the guy who bales your Christmas tree? I DON’T KNOW!
18. When someone sitting on the aisle gets passive aggressive when you come/go from your seats at a sporting event. Look, I try to limit my bathroom/concession breaks to timeouts, but you have to expect this when you sit on the aisle.
19. “A Christmas Story.” It’s overrated. There, I said it. The last thing anyone needs is a 24 hour marathon of it. I’m looking at you, TBS.
20. Anxiety
21. Depression
22. Pretty much anything having to do with the New York State Department of Motor Vehicles.
23. People who make click-baity lists on their blog.

Happy Festivus!