Progress can be so subtle you miss it sometimes

This won’t be a long post but I just wanted to share a quick update from my therapy session this morning. I was telling my therapist about my decision to quit smoking and mentioned that one of the key factors for me is the cost. Sure, everyone knows about the health benefits of quitting (or the risks of not quitting) but those can remain abstract until you’re coughing up a lung or your teeth look like yellowed corn. But the costs of smoking from a financial standpoint are very real. I told her how I was looking at my bank statement and all the cigar purchases, adding everything up, and how I was literally giving people money so that I could burn leaves. It was ridiculous. And she stopped me and asked me to review what I had just said. I said I was checking my bank statement and seeing how- and she stopped me there. I was checking my bank statement. So?

And it hit me… when I first started to go to therapy in March of 2014 one of my primary sources of anxiety was my finances. I would allow bank statements to arrive and then sit unopened for months. It would overwhelm me and eventually get out of hand, which only caused more anxiety and additional problems. Now I’m checking them regularly, I have a binder where I keep my statements organized, etc. etc. It’s all been such a kind of gradual thing that I missed how huge my progress in that area has been over the past few months. I’ve made some important changes and it’s important to recognize them and give myself credit. By regaining control over things like my finances I’m in a better place to make decisions about other areas of my life (like the smoking) because my focus isn’t being pulled in 100 directions. It’s a good feeling, and I’m glad she caught it and pointed it out to me.