I relapsed. Now what?

This might be the toughest post I’ve had to write yet. Well, I say had to… there’s no obligations that I’m subject to when it comes to this blog other than those I impose on myself. From the very beginning when I started writing it was because this is a way to share information on […]

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What happens when we all forget there’s a person there

This story in the Idaho Statesman on the public shaming and subsequent suicide of Klara Bowman hit me hard this morning. I was tearing up over my coffee reading about this young woman who faced a set of circumstances that were in many ways similar to my own struggle, but rather than given the opportunity […]

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The Road Ahead

So last month marked two years since my suicide attempt. Two years of avoiding alcohol, of taking medication, going to therapy and trying to remind myself that I’m good enough to keep sticking around. Some days are certainly easier than others and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t troubled or tempted or tested […]

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This is why I don’t do AA

Check out this story from The Fix about alleged discrimination/blacklisting of secular groups within AA. According to the third tradition of 12-step group Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), “the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.” Theoretically, this would mean the group’s atheist and agnostic members, of which there are a growing number, are […]

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Playing with fire

As most drinkers know, bourbon has a distinctive taste. It’s not like scotch or Canadian or Irish whiskey.  Even though I was never much of a bourbon drinker (I preferred the smokiness of scotch) I still remember how it tastes. Jim Beam was one of the only dark liquors my parents kept in the cabinet regularly […]

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Answers to unaskable questions

Yes, yes, I know, I know, “unaskable” isn’t a word. This title ought to be something along the lines of “Answers to questions you’re afraid to ask.” But I went with “unaskable.” This post is based on an exchange I had on Facebook with a friend regarding my last post. He began by writing: “I […]

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Looking back on my first mental health crisis

I don’t usually post trigger warnings on specific posts since I think it’s a fair expectation that a blog about mental health might contain information that might trigger a sensitivity to that topic, but since this post deals specifically with suicide, self-harm and a crisis, consider yourself specifically warned. I’ve wanted to write a longer-form […]

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Looking back on it all day after day

How many of you check your Facebook “On This Day” feature on a regular or even daily basis? I know I do. Sometimes there’s a fun memory. Mostly it’s mildly interesting to see what I was up to in years past. But occasionally I’m faced with a dive back into the bad old days. The bad […]

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500 days of… sobriety? Abstention? Let’s talk terms

Over the weekend I remarked on five hundred days without a drink on my personal Facebook page. It’s an accomplishment I feel pretty proud of, and it wouldn’t have happened without the support of a lot of people. At the same time, there was some disagreement on my use of the word “sober” to describe the […]

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Can marijuana help with anxiety issues? It helped mine. Let me explain…

So two weeks ago at my brother’s bachelor weekend there was, as one might expect, quite a bit of drinking going on. Cans of beer everywhere, rounds of Fireball shots- we even had wine drinkers and at least one person making Bloody Mary’s. It became pretty stressful for me- I’ve touched on the issues I’ve […]

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