It’s hard sometimes to HEY LOOK OVER THERE!

I have a problem with distractions. With losing focus and staying in control of tasks I’m working on. It can be a major problem, particularly when it comes to concentrating on work tasks, staying on top of assignments and being generally organized with what’s going on. This can result in missed or late assignments, sloppy […]

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Playing with fire

As most drinkers know, bourbon has a distinctive taste. It’s not like scotch or Canadian or Irish whiskey.  Even though I was never much of a bourbon drinker (I preferred the smokiness of scotch) I still remember how it tastes. Jim Beam was one of the only dark liquors my parents kept in the cabinet regularly […]

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Looking back on my first mental health crisis

I don’t usually post trigger warnings on specific posts since I think it’s a fair expectation that a blog about mental health might contain information that might trigger a sensitivity to that topic, but since this post deals specifically with suicide, self-harm and a crisis, consider yourself specifically warned. I’ve wanted to write a longer-form […]

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Can I get back into mindfulness meditation?

I confess, this summer I’ve been slipping. I haven’t been following through on my mindfulness meditation practice and it’s starting to show. I find myself edgier, more irritable and anxious. My thoughts fly around my head and I have a hard time focusing and considering them. Once that happens it becomes very easy to fall […]

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Make a checklist for a positive weekend

There’s nothing worse than a wasted weekend. Well, that’s not true, there are MUCH worse things than a wasted weekend. But if you’re like me sometimes you’ll find yourself at home on a Sunday evening and think “Damn, I didn’t do ANYTHING this weekend.” It’s happened to me more than I’d care to admit or […]

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I had a panic attack today

  Not much to say about it. I’m feeling better now, out smoking a cigar. It was over a work issue that I don’t want to get into too much detail about here. Or that’s what triggered it. My anxiety issues run pretty deep, and even though I’ve made a tremendous amount of progress in managing […]

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The fear of missing out: A sober wedding weekend

I was at a family wedding this weekend and it was the first big social occasion I’ve participated in since getting sober, the first real test of how I’d handle being sober and avoid feeling anxious and depressed when I know there’d be lots of drinking, lots of people and some social expectations. If Alaska […]

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Back from Alaska, aka, the view from the mountain

Well, I’m back. After the USA Today article came out my vacation was timed perfectly. It allowed me time to decompress, not think about my depression and anxiety and just enjoy the company of family and the beauty of Alaska. Haha, just kidding! Yeah, as if depression and anxiety let you take a vacation. This […]

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A brief conversation with my panic attack from this morning

Paul: Oh, hello panic attack, haven’t seen you in awhile… Panic Attack: I know, right!? I decided to pop-in! Paul: You know how I feel about the pop-in… Panic Attack: Yeah I’m sorry, but I decided that it had been so long… Paul: Come to think of it, why are you here? Panic Attack: You were […]

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